the end?

this is the last post on abstractplain.com. thanks for looking.

8:57 AM

well, this is the third post in the last couple of days. we'll see if i decide to delete this one. i am dealing with more pain and confusion than i ever have in my life. i am in a situation where no matter what i choose, i lose. i hate being in this position. the fucked up part is that i have lived my life with as much integrity as i possibly could for the last nine years and my life still looks like shit. i have lost best friends, had family call me a crazy cult master, obeyed, humbled myself, been cussed out, yelled at, hit, and every day i allow my heart to be broken by the pain and suffering of the people around me - for what? a shitty little apartment with second hand furniture, shabby clothes, and debt that grows each month and will never get paid off? nice. now i am angry, hurt, confused, broken, lost, and ready to give up. see the thing is, i used to be an idealist. i think that person is finally broken.

dark night of the soul? fucking right.

this will be the last post on abstract plain. i'm sick of the whole thing.

8:41 PM