6.26.2005
why do i continue talking when i am clearly not being heard?maybe to hear my own voice?
maybe to somehow prove my importance or my grasp of the concept of whatever?
is it so that i can tuck away that proverbial "i told you so" in my pocket for use on some rainy day when by ego just won't buoy my self-esteem?
i'm frustrated.
why?
here is why: i think that i have some wisdom of experience. i can pass this on and maybe save others some real pain.
here is the question: is that my job?
"sometimes i ask to seek a closer look - see to the final chapters of the book; and maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took to get us where we are this far...but the question drowns in its futility, and even i have got to laugh at me. no one gets to miss the strom of what will be just holding on for the ride." the wood song by the indigo girls
so what good is wisdom except to the wise?
isn't struggle what ultimately produces change?
i know that at the very core pain and struggle force me to rely on a power greater than myself.
so, is my dissemination of "wisdom" futile or useful?
for that matter, who the hell am i to think that i have any wisdom to begin with?
9:16 PM 
